Ask Me No Questions

The novel opens by situating the Hossains as outsiders in a foreign land. Nadira narrates, “We keep driving even as snowflakes clump on the wipers, and poor Abba can barely see. Coconut flakes, Ma jokes. We’ll go outside and scoop them up, and I’ll make you some polao” (1). Snow, a common occurrence in much of the US, is not typical in tropical climates like Bangladesh and thus represents the strangeness of their new environment. Ma compares the snowflakes to coconut flakes, creating a contrast between what is familiar and what is foreign; she also mentions making polao, a traditional South Asian dish, introducing aspects of their Bangladeshi roots to their shifted identity in America. This sets the tone for the novel’s exploration of the family’s reconciliation of their cultural roots with their present situation in America.

Nadira, who immigrated to America at seven, grapples with the alienation of being an immigrant. She compares her experiences to landing on a different planet, a metaphor depicting her disorientation, isolation, and loss of identity. The analogy mirrors her perception of America as an unwelcoming place, evoking barriers such as language differences, cultural misunderstandings, and systemic discrimination, all of which seem to preclude the possibility of true belonging. She further explains that “here [In America] we live[] with no map. We [become] invisible, the people who [swim] between other people’s lives, bussing dishes, delivering groceries” (57-58). The concept of living “with no map” suggests a lack of direction and a sense of being lost. The phrase “we became invisible” speaks to society’s marginalization of immigrants, particularly those who are undocumented and/or doing menial jobs; this invisibility is not just literal but also metaphorical, as their contributions often go unrecognized. The idea of “swimming between other people’s lives” suggests a transient, liminal existence, reinforcing the theme of the constant search for identity and a sense of belonging.

In contrast to Nadira, whose strong connection to her heritage exacerbates her feelings of isolation, Aisha strongly desires assimilation. This is evident when Aisha selects a group of friends she wishes to join: “She studied what they wore, their flare-leg pants, their macrame bracelets, and she begged Ma to take her shopping to buy exactly the same things” (24). Aisha mimics the style of her peers, using clothing and accessories to symbolize belonging and acceptance in the new culture. That Aisha “begs” her mother to go shopping indicates the tension between her family’s cultural background and the dominant culture she encounters at school. It also hints at financial constraints and differences in priorities, touching on the economic struggles of immigrant families. Aisha’s need to secure acceptance supersedes these considerations but may come at the cost of losing touch with her roots. Taslima serves as an example of a fully assimilated character, having attended American university and married a white law student. However, Taslima’s arc underlines the costs of this assimilation: disconnection from her parents, who move back to Bangladesh.

This decision to return to Bangladesh highlights that questions of identity and belonging are not unique to the novel’s younger generation, although the younger characters may face particular pressure to assimilate. Uncle explains the choice to return to Bangladesh with the words, “Better I am poor in a country where I can feel at home. Where I am wanted, then to live like this” (140). He implies that the sense of being “wanted” is more crucial than material wealth; without cultural connection, community ties, or a sense of acceptance whatever opportunities America affords are meaningless.

Through the varied experiences of the Hossain family, Budhos explores the struggle for identity and belonging in a new country, exploring the realities of assimilation, displacement, and cultural preservation. The characters represent a spectrum of experiences: some successfully integrate into their new environment, others struggle or reject their new circumstances, and yet others find a way to reconcile their heritage to their new world.