Bared To You

“As he stared back, he altered . . . as if a shield slid away from his eyes, revealing a scorching force of will that sucked the air from my lungs. The intense magnetism he exuded grew in strength, becoming a near-tangible impression of vibrant and unrelenting power.”

Eva describes her first meeting with Gideon Cross in the lobby of the Crossfire Building. She senses the chemistry between the two of them and describes the intense, masculine energy that draws her to him. This attraction marks the beginning of Eva and Gideon’s tumultuous relationship and is a turning point for both personally moving forward.

“The strength and demand of his will exuded an almost tangible force field. When he stepped close enough, it surrounded me, closing me in with him. Everything outside that bubble ceased to exist, while inside it my entire body strained toward his.”

Eva comments on the dominance that Gideon exudes naturally. Eva’s attraction to Gideon overwhelms her and drives her into submission. The natural chemistry between Eva and Gideon is the foundation of their relationship and draws them back together as they navigate life and the consequences of their traumatic pasts.

“He was a man who wanted no complications with his sex and I was a woman who found sex complicated, but he wasn’t giving up. Yet.”

Eva remarks on the differences between her and Gideon’s approaches to sex. Day uses parallel structure to demonstrate these differences. Initially, these differences threaten to keep them separated. However, as they both compromise and allow themselves to grow more vulnerable with one another, these differences weaken, and their united bond strengthens.

“Since meeting Gideon I’d felt like I’d fallen down the rabbit hole into a fascinating and seductive world where few of the known rules applied. I was in uncharted territory that was both exciting and scary.”

Eva compares her relationship to falling down a rabbit hole. This is an allusion to Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland that captures the otherworldly nature of Eva and Gideon’s attraction to one another. At the beginning of the novel, Eva desires a new start in New York City and delights in the sights and sounds of the dynamic city. Day uses the setting of New York City to highlight the adventurous nature of Eva and Gideon’s relationship.

“With every second that passed, I felt him withdrawing, the connection between us slipping further and further away. I found myself shrinking into the corner of the seat, away from him, mimicking the distance I felt building between us. All the warmth I’d felt receded into a marked chill, cooling me enough that I pulled my shawl around me again.”

After taking a dominant position during their first sexual encounter, Eva sees Gideon instantly creating distance between them. She compares the distance she feels to a building to accentuate the magnitude of this separation. Day employs the hot and cold imagery to describe the shifting dynamics early on in Eva and Gideon’s relationship as they attempt to build trust.

“I’d bared my emotions in the limo and I still felt horribly vulnerable—a state I’d spent countless therapy hours learning to avoid. I wanted nothing more than to be home and hidden, freed from the pressure of acting like I was completely pulled together when I was anything but.”

In the aftermath of Gideon’s cold behavior in the limo, Eva struggles with regret over being open with Gideon and allowing herself to be vulnerable. She alludes to her years of experience with therapy and her self-awareness regarding her tendency to avoid feeling vulnerable. Throughout the novel, Eva undergoes a transformation of healing as she confronts her trauma through her relationship with Gideon. This moment demonstrates Eva at the beginning of that journey.

“I wanted the reassurance that he valued what we’d shared, that it meant something to him as it had to me.”

After Gideon turns cold after their first intimate sexual encounter in the limousine, Eva grows insecure over Gideon’s feelings for her. Although their relationship begins as an arrangement, their feelings for one another develop as they share more intimate moments that push them out of their comfort zones. As their relationship progresses, Eva grapples with her insecurities stemming from her history with childhood sexual abuse. Eva and Gideon’s relationship is more than just sex; it also represents a healing journey of self-worth through the love and trust of a relationship.

“A shiver moved through me at the blunt finality in his tone and the iciness of his gaze. I knew he had a dark side; I’d learned long ago how to spot and avoid men who had dangerous shadows in their eyes. But the familiar alarm bells didn’t ring around Gideon as they maybe should have.”

Describing Gideon’s dominant and serious demeanor, Eva notes how she recognizes the potential danger of pursuing a relationship with the mysterious Gideon but how she also feels drawn to him in inexplicable ways. Day employs the words “shiver” and “iciness” to illustrate Gideon’s cold manner. Eva’s ability to recognize the dark side in Gideon and still find comfort and connection with him strengthens their bond through their similar experiences with trauma.

“Everything inside me twisted into a mess of wild lust and vibrating anxiety. I had no idea what I was doing with him, only that I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.”

Control dominates most of Eva’s life. She attempts to live in a controlled manner to shield herself. Her relationship with Gideon marks a shift away from this way of life as she learns throughout the novel to lose control and trust Gideon. This release of control ultimately allows Eva and Gideon to find deeper connection with each other and healing within themselves.

“He was as confused and torn about what was happening between us as I was, and I knew how easy it was to fall into established patterns. After all, hadn’t I just fallen into one of my own by bailing? I’d spent enough years in therapy to know better than to wound and run when I was hurting.”

Eva contemplates her choice to leave the hotel room suddenly after having sex with Gideon. She reflects on her choice and how it was influenced by her past. She empathizes with Gideon in this moment as they both work to better themselves despite their traumatic pasts. This moment exhibits a maturation in Eva as she works towards becoming a better, more healed version of herself.

“I was vaguely aware of the multitude of people milling around us, the buzz of numerous conversations, and the steady rumble of the ceaseless midtown traffic, but none of it mattered while I was sheltered by Gideon. Cherished by him. He was both tormentor and pleasurer, a man whose mood swings and volatile passions rivaled my own.”

Gideon and Eva fight in Bryant Park over the gossip articles written about their relationship. She refers to Gideon as a “tormentor” and “pleasurer,” which demonstrates the volatile dynamics of their relationship. Their relationship features a range of human emotions. Eva remarks on the similarities between herself and Gideon. As survivors of abuse, they bond over their shared experiences with pain and work towards building trust and intimacy through their shared pleasure.

“I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache gathering strength. My eyes stung with the need to cry for him, to cry for whatever torment he’d once lived through. And to cry for us, because if he didn’t let me in, our relationship had nowhere to go.”

Gideon suffers through another nightmare and begins to masturbate in his sleep. Distressed, Eva confronts Gideon about his nightmares. Gideon refuses to divulge the source of his torment. Gideon’s inability to share the darkest parts of himself with Eva separates them. Throughout the novel, he works towards vulnerability through his commitment to their relationship.

“In the moments of orgasm, I owned him as completely as he owned me.”

During the garden party, Eva dominates Gideon in the library. She revels in her ability to bring Gideon to orgasm. The dynamics of their sexual relationship shift throughout the novel as Gideon and Eva each take the position of dominance. As a survivor, Eva finds empowerment in her ability to take control during sex but, through her relationship with Gideon, she learns the power of submission.

“Gideon could do that to me, make me forget everything that happened before. I had no negative sexual triggers with him, no hesitation or fears. He’d given that to me. In return, I wanted to give him the body he’d freed from my past.”

Through their intense sexual experiences, Eva finds healing and transformation from her traumatic past. Gideon provides Eva a safe space to explore new territories within sexual intimacy separated from her past abuse. This safe space allows Eva to enter a new chapter in her life and transition into full adulthood as an empowered survivor.

“To call either of us virgins would be ridiculous, yet emotionally that was just what we were. Fumbling in the dark and too eager, completely out of our depths and self-conscious, trying to impress and missing all the subtle nuances.”

Gideon and Eva reunite at the garden party and explore new sexual territory together. Comparing Gideon and herself to virgins, Eva comments on the lack of experience she and Gideon have in navigating their trauma. This is both Gideon and Eva’s first serious relationship, which offers them the opportunity to mature and learn more about themselves.

“The longing I felt was so acute it was painful. The hidden damage inside him only made me love him more. There were times when I felt like I’d found the other half of myself in him.”

The sexual desire Eva feels for Gideon surpasses the physical. Intimately and emotionally connected, Eva and Gideon see themselves in each other. Their shared experiences unite them. This partnership strengthens them individually and permits them to explore healing from their traumatic pasts.

“He glanced at me then, still smiling, and my heart turned over in my chest. He looked his age for once, young and seriously fine and so very normal. At that moment, we were just a twenty-something couple relaxing at home with a roommate and a remote control. He was just my boyfriend, hanging out. It was all so sweet and uncomplicated, and I found the illusion a poignant one.”

Gideon relaxes in Eva’s home. She remarks on the change in Gideon from the beginning of the novel. While previously cold and serious, Gideon now appears more at peace and jovial. She hints at the ways in which Gideon’s cold exterior ages him. Despite her love of this change, she notes that this scene of normalcy is an “illusion.”

“It was the nature of our relationship to be lusty and emotional, earthy and raw. The trust that held us together also opened us up to each other in ways that made us both vulnerable and dangerous. And it would get worse before it got better.”

After Gideon’s attack on Eva in his sleep, Eva recognizes the danger of continuing a relationship with Gideon. Eva analyzes how the trust she and Gideon have built has made her vulnerable to the potential danger of their residual trauma. No longer naïve, Eva confronts the harsh reality of their relationship and chooses to continue her relationship with Gideon even at the risk of her own safety.

“The memory of how I’d woken up was too fresh in my mind. It hurt me to deny him, knowing he needed the same thing from me as I’d needed from him when I told him about Nathan—proof that the desire was still there, that as ugly as the scars of our pasts were, they didn’t affect what we were to each other now.”

After his nightmare and attack on Eva, Gideon attempts to initiate sex with Eva to console himself. Eva acknowledges Gideon’s need for intimacy in this moment but chooses to deny him to protect herself. She accepts Gideon in this moment and asks him to stay with her. They maintain their connection despite the obstacles of Gideon’s nightmare. This marks a shift in their relationship.

“He looked up then and caught my gaze. His blue eyes blazed with power and heat. ‘I’ve always seen you, angel. From the moment you found me, I’ve seen nothing but you.’”

Eva and Gideon share a tender moment after she teases him about seeing her stick her tongue out at him. Gideon plays the word see and transforms its meaning from the physical act to an emotional one. When he tells Eva that he has “always seen” her, he states that he recognizes her humanity. Eva and Gideon’s ability to recognize each other’s humanity through their similar trauma maintains their deep connection despite the various obstacles they face throughout the novel.

“I sank to my knees on the carpeted floor, breathing hard. I could run to the ends of the earth and I still wouldn’t be able to escape the fact that Corinne Giroux had to be better for Gideon than I was. She was calm and cool, a soothing presence even to me—the person freaking out over the unwelcome fact of her existence. My worst nightmare.”

At the gala dinner, Eva meets Corinne, Gideon’s former fiancé, who has returned to New York City. Despite all the trust she and Gideon have built, Eva still struggles with her insecurities. Day presents the harsh truth of recovery from trauma. Due to her traumatic childhood, Eva grapples with feelings of inadequacy and shame. Corinne presents another test of Eva and Gideon’s relationship.

“And yet I understood the alienation of being around others who couldn’t really see you or chose not to. I’d felt the self-loathing that came with being a fraud, portraying an image of what you wished you could be but weren’t. I’d lived with the fear that the people you loved might turn away from you if they ever got to know the true person hidden inside.”

After Gideon shares the difficulties he faced in his love life before meeting Eva, she muses on her own struggles. Eva discusses the alienation, self-loathing, and fear that consumes survivors of trauma. She understands the struggles Gideon shares with her. It is this understanding that binds Eva and Gideon together and strengthens them enough to withstand the forces that threaten to separate them.

“Gideon and I still had so much work ahead of us. As much as we loved each other, it was no guarantee that we’d survive our personal wounds. But we communicated, we were honest with each other, and God knew we were both too stubborn to quit without a fight.”

After their fight about Corinne, Eva and Gideon reconcile. They commit themselves to navigating their personal struggles and communicate openly with one another in the process. Day concludes the novel by portraying Eva and Gideon as a united front. The ending of the novel is hopeful for Eva and Gideon’s ability to overcome any obstacle together.