Carrie Soto Is Back

Cami Dryer is 17, and Carrie thinks about how good it is to have experience. She wins handily.

Two transcripts, one from SportsWorld on BBC Sports Radio London and the other from The Mark Hadley show, cut in, discussing Carrie’s progress as she moves into the semifinals of Wimbledon. In the latter, Briggs Lakin admits that he was wrong about Carrie, and Gloria Jones admits that it will be tough for Carrie to win.

Before her match with Antonovich, Javier tells her, ”Don’t think […] Just play” (278).

Carrie scores first, knowing that Javier and Bowe are watching. Gwen and her assistant Ali are watching too. She leads, winning the first set. Antonovich catches up and wins the second set.

In the final set, Carrie’s strategy isn’t working. Her knee is on fire. On a break, she tries to rethink her strategy and decides to let go of her fear, knowing it’s her only chance of winning. She plays by instinct, taking the lead, serving, and returning in ways that irritate Antonovich. She wins.

On the phone, Javier praises Carrie. He tells her how interesting it was to watch her. He could see her figure out how to beat Antonovich over the TV. She also learns that Bowe has been coming to Javier’s house every day. Javier tries to change the subject to their relationship, but Carrie insists that he stop.

They talk about Nicki, and Carrie reveals that they had a drink. Javier warns her about making friends with her rivals. He says that she should be careful not to discuss her game, not even what she had for breakfast, since anything can be used against her. Nicki complains that he sounds absurd. They watch Nicki’s match against Cortez together over the phone. Surprisingly—and likely due to an injury that Nicki is attempting to play through—Cortez wins.

Carrie can’t sleep, and she calls Bowe. He tells her not to overthink, and he is surprised that she called him instead of Javier. She thanks him. She tries to not think of losing to Cortez in Melbourne, knowing that she has to play like she’ll be okay with either result.

Carrie wins the first point and spots Princess Diana in the crowd. Because of all the news around Princess Diana’s marriage in 1995, Carrie thinks, “They can’t make us go away just because they are done with us” (292). She wins the first set, feeling the hum of her rhythm.

During the third set, Carrie is distracted; she just wants to know how the match will end. She almost forgets to return Cortez’s serve but then lets her body take over. She scores, eventually reaching match point. When Cortez serves again, Carrie savors the moment of hitting the ball, thinking about how her father, Bowe, Gwen, Ali, and perhaps even her mother, are watching. She knows that her mother is proud. Cortez returns, and Carrie volleys it back right at the net. It bounces twice, and Carrie wins her 10th Wimbledon and her 21st Slam. The record is tied again. The crowd roars, but most clearly, she hears her own thought: “Let this be enough” (294).

The narrative shifts again to a transcript from The Mark Hadley Show. Briggs Lakin again admits that he was wrong: Carrie won.

Carrie prepares for the Champions Ball in her hotel room. It is almost midnight because they had to wait for the men’s final to end. At the Ball, person after person approaches Carrie, wondering if she’ll keep playing after the US Open or pretending that they were sure she’d win Wimbledon. When she comments on this, Gwen laughs, thankful that Carrie doesn’t get lost in the drama of it all. Carrie apologizes for her rudeness earlier in the season, when she’d said that Gwen’s marriage must’ve been going badly since she’d cared so much about Carrie and Bowe. Gwen admits that she and her husband are getting a divorce, and Carrie returns the honesty, saying that she did end up sleeping with Bowe. She thanks Gwen for being there.

When Carrie takes a photo with the men’s champion, he says that the men’s and women’s tournaments aren’t comparable because men play best of five sets and women play best of three. As Carrie begins to tell him that she’d beat him no matter what, Gwen pulls her away.

Back at the hotel, Carrie grumbles about the double standard. Gwen validates her, but she also points out that she herself has a whole other set of rules to follow as a Black woman. Carrie knows that Gwen is right.

They discuss Gwen’s next move. Now that Carrie has won Wimbledon again, a lot of people want to sponsor her, and the commission would be enough for Gwen to retire. She’s seriously considering it, wondering if her divorce means it’s time for a change. Carrie encourages her, saying that Gwen is more than her agent. When the conversation turns to love, Carrie calls Gwen brave for wanting to fall in love again. Gwen tells her it is simple to fall in love, as long as she forgets there’s an ending.

The next morning, flowers arrive from Nicki. The note compliments her but challenges her to battle at the US Open all the same. Carrie recognizes that she likes Nicki.

Javier is waiting when Carrie arrives home, looking healthy. He says how proud he is, and Carrie says that if she beats Nicki at the US Open, she’ll have done everything she wanted to. Javier stops her, saying instead that he is proud because she played her best at tennis. She was even smiling during the third set.

She calls Bowe that night. He is feeling better and is ready to start training. He’s excited to be able to practice with Carrie again. They agree that they don’t know exactly what they are to each other.

Training intensifies as they prepare for the US Open. Carrie sees Bowe every day for training and every night. One night, Bowe suggests that they should stop pretending Javier doesn’t know they’re sleeping together, but Carrie implies that they might stop. Bowe says that he’s made it clear what he wants and goes to sleep.

It is two months before the US Open. Carrie is now ranked 12th in the world. Javier comments she seems freer since winning Wimbledon, and Carrie responds that she is less afraid of losing because it is less likely to happen. Javier then points out what they’ve both avoided saying: He can’t come with her to New York. He will still be watching, and he says that she will win. However, he doesn’t care if Carrie wins or loses.

After a pause, he says that Bowe is in love with her, and that he’s okay with not being a better player than her. This was something that Javier always worried about: Carrie needs to be with another tennis player who can understand her, but it is difficult finding someone who is okay with second place. Javier tells her to open her heart and to stop pushing Bowe away. After Carrie’s mother died, he taught her to never open up because he never did, either. But now, he thinks, she needs to. Their conversation ends as Javier says, “You’re the meaning of my life” (314).

Later, Bowe comes over, and he and Carrie play a set. When it’s over, Bowe makes to leave, knowing that he’ll return that night. Javier looks shocked, so Carrie calls out to Bowe, asking him to stay for dinner. They all know that he won’t leave even after dinner, and Carrie “wonder[s] for a moment why [she has] spent all [her] time worried about losing things, when there is so much here” (315).

The next morning, Javier doesn’t show up on time. Carrie runs across the street and into his house. He has passed away.

Bowe and Gwen stay with Carrie. Gwen knows that the news will break soon, but Carrie doesn’t care. She can barely keep track of the days. She’s surprised that Bowe hasn’t left, and he tells her that he’s not going to.

Carrie doesn’t know what to do about the US Open. Bowe continues to practice. Nicki calls and offers to bow out if Carrie doesn’t want to play in the Open. She wants it to be a fair fight. Carrie says that it doesn’t matter very much, but Nicki doesn’t realize she’s being serious.

Finally, Carrie goes to Javier’s house, emerging from her haze. She thinks about how grief makes you feel like you will fall into its depths forever, but as she cries, she “find[s] the bottom” (321). As she makes to leave, she finds a notebook with her name on it with a page dedicated to every player in the Women’s Tennis Association. There are strategies of how to beat each person inside. Carrie feels like, unlike when her mother died, she still has a piece of her father. She decides to go play the last tournament, knowing he’ll be with her. And she plans to win.

Carrie tells Bowe she’s going, and he agrees. He too plans on winning. They laugh together, and Carrie doesn’t feel guilty for being happy. It is the beginning of a new life.

The morning of the first match, Gwen is there. Carrie is scheduled to play Dvořáková, and Bowe is playing Franco Gustavo. Bowe reveals that, no matter what happens, he is retiring. Carrie isn’t sure what she’ll do beyond this tournament. Bowe hands Carrie Javier’s notebook, and she shows it to Gwen.