In a Holidaze

Mae finds herself once again on the plane to Utah, furious and screaming. She does not understand why the timeline has reset, given that she has not rekindled any romance with Theo and was trying to preserve the Christmas traditions. Upon arrival, Mae delivers a rapid monologue to the others, trying to prevent Kennedy’s fall, complimenting Theo’s hair, and assuring Ricky that his purchase of a different brand of gin will not ruin the holiday. She immediately requests a drink. The entire group is concerned about her brusque and unusual behavior.

Mae takes Benny aside once more to tell him the truth about the time loop. As Benny urges her to truly consider the answer to her initial question about happiness, Andrew arrives with a drink for her. At Andrew’s request, Mae explains most of her conversation with Benny, skipping over the time-travel factor to emphasize that they were pondering the nature of personal fulfillment. She assures him that his arrival and the drink have brought her some of the way there, and she thanks him. Andrew assures her that no one is upset with her; they are only concerned that they have somehow hurt her and caused her unusual brusqueness. Mae assures him that she is fine and puts off his curiosity about her signs of foreknowledge.

Mae urges Andrew to go with her to find the sleeping bags, and he teases her for her preoccupation with his safety. She tells him frankly, “I love you massively. Let’s get you set up out there and then I can take a nap” (99). Andrew is stunned by her words, and Mae hopes that this means his feelings are shifting in her favor, even as she tells herself that she is imagining his favorable response. When Andrew catches her as she nearly falls, she lingers in his embrace. She then breaks the hug reluctantly, sure that romance is not her real mission. Mae notices him staring again, and when she asks what is wrong, he points out that she is different too. He tells her, “You’re making me feel a little drunk. Out of the blue. Which isn’t a bad thing, by the way” (101).

At breakfast the next day, Mae resolves to eat as much as she wants and tells Andrew that they might as well embrace the festivities. Mae ignores Theo’s efforts to talk to her alone and similarly dismisses her mother’s concern about how much food is on her plate. Mae and Andrew discuss their plans for the snow sculpture contest, and she tells him that they will build a monkey.

During the sculpting process, Andrew asks Mae if she is still in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he also inquires about her job. She confides that living with her mother and Miles is slightly stifling; she still feels embarrassed at her inability to stay in Los Angeles due to her first low-paying job in graphic design. Since moving back to Berkeley, she has been working for a nonprofit, hoping to combine her art background with her accounting knowledge. However, instead of teaching art classes in a program that she designed, she is now merely overseeing the nonprofit’s finances. Andrew suggests that she quit since she has secure housing with her family, but Mae finds the idea daunting. Mae looks around and notices a lack of enthusiasm for snow sculpting. She convinces Andrew to start a snowball fight, throwing a snowball at Benny. The atmosphere soon turns raucous and joyful.

In another break with tradition, Mae volunteers to go with Andrew to purchase a Christmas tree, sparing her father and Ricky the stress of finding a parking space at the busy Park City nursery. Mae asks Andrew about his work as a sound engineer at Denver’s famous Red Rocks concert venue. Taking in the crowds, Mae wonders why they always insist that their fathers battle for parking to bring back a tree. Andrew looks at her, and Mae realizes that the group’s adherence to tradition has become almost mindless, in part due to her own militance. Mae asks Andrew how he really feels about the traditions, and he admits that he would be happy with more variety and contrast. 

Mae asks Andrew if the cabin needs serious repair. He confirms that it is in poor condition and that his parents are inclined to sell it rather than taking on the extra expense. Mae suggests that it is time for her, Theo, and Andrew to take on more responsibility for the holiday, even if Ricky and Lisa protest others taking on the caregiving for the group. Andrew notices that Mae does not mention her own parents as caregivers, and she admits that their fractious relationship always seemed to come first. Andrew surprises Mae when he admits that he was relieved for her when her parents divorced. He also admires her new sense of initiative, and she tells him that she has decided to fully embrace adulthood, which includes pursuing all her desires. She tells him frankly that spending time with him is important to her and says, “I think you know it” (120).

Andrew is clearly taken aback by Mae’s directness and admits that he always believed she had feelings for Theo. Mae assures him that this has never been the case. As they look for a tree, Andrew asks about her goals for the coming year. In response, Mae impulsively emails her boss, resigning from her job. Mae realizes that her wish for clarity was born of her desire for change, not her need to adhere to tradition. She selects a small and scraggly tree, certain that this will bring the group more amusement than a conventional one.

Mae watches Aaron and Kyle’s children decorate the tree, resolving that if she truly believes in adult responsibilities, she should do the dishes and let the younger generation make their own memories. She also assesses the cabin’s state of disrepair. She tells Benny that the trip to the tree farm went well, explaining that she quit her job and told Andrew about her feelings for him. Mae realizes that Andrew did not reciprocate her admission, but Benny remains hopeful. Mae insists that the time loop could still restart, so her failure to win over Andrew has no particular meaning. Benny suggests that she may have moved forward in time because she is finally choosing authenticity.

When Theo approaches Mae, she struggles to interact with him warmly, still angry at his behavior during her first version of the vacation. Theo suggests that they play games later, but Mae struggles to see how this activity would fit into her resolution to create more mature holiday traditions. The group happily decorates the tree and takes a series of imperfect photos. In the living room, Mae remembers spending her first evening with Theo, looking at Instagram. She regrets that choice now, as it may explain why Andrew thought she had feelings for Theo.

Mae slides under the Christmas tree to look at the lights from below, and Andrew joins her. Theo texts her, complaining that she is with his brother and not him. Andrew says that Theo genuinely wants to spend time with her and asks why their relationship is strained. Mae argues that she and Theo have little in common as adults. Andrew tells her that Theo, like him, may have thought a romance with Mae was inevitable. Andrew warns Mae that Theo dates casually, without regard for women’s emotions. He confesses, “You’re the most generous and least judgmental person I’ve ever known” (138). Mae apologizes for making their relationship awkward, and as they gaze at each other, romantic tension rises. Andrew assures her that their bond will always matter to him even if he cannot see himself pursuing her. Mae is briefly overwhelmed with disappointment, and they have an awkward conversation that ends in laughter. Mae senses that their relationship feels stronger despite his gentle rejection. Andrew suggests that they silently gaze up at the tree’s lights, and when Mae is tempted to speak, he tells her, “I just want to be under the tree with you” (141).

Mae is relieved to have reached December 22, which is traditionally dedicated to sledding. Her more pessimistic side envisions another mishap that will somehow restart her time loop. Mae decides to start making breakfast, rather than remaining passive as she might have in the past. Her mother takes over for her and catches her admiring Andrew through the window as he shovels snow. Andrew waves to her, and Mae begins to suspect that he is flirting, despite his earlier protestations.

The group arrives at a nearby resort for sledding, dressed for the cold. Mae usually partners with her father, but she notices that he is not very enthusiastic about sledding, so she suggests that he join Kyle for hot chocolate. To her relief, he agrees, and Andrew asks Mae to ride with him. He offers her his hat when he notices that she has forgotten hers. Mae kisses him on the cheek to thank him and is shocked when he tells her that although gratitude is not necessary, he is “always here for kisses” (148). Andrew wraps himself around her as they prepare to sled, heightening the romantic tension. In her ear, Andrew admits that he thought she was going to kiss him earlier, and he tells her, “It never occurred to me that you might be mine” (150).

Mae, Andrew, Miles, and Theo gather in the basement to play cards. Andrew entwines his foot with Mae’s under the table, renewing her intense longing, which was sparked by his confession on the sled. Theo suggests that they play the party game “two truths and a lie” rather than playing cards. Theo opts for scandalous revelations that emphasize his history in a fraternity, his secret tattoo, and his many sexual partners. He then tries to flirt with Mae, but she is uninterested and also somewhat horrified by his stories of prior casual relationships. One of Mae’s stories features a past boyfriend, and when she notices that Andrew seems unhappy about it, she is almost gratified by the evidence that he feels possessive of her.

Later, Mae wakes up from a nap to find Andrew beside her. Mae teases him for watching her sleep, referring to him as Edward Cullen from Twilight, who is known for his obsessive love of his human love interest, Bella. Mae is horrified when Andrew does not understand the reference, as this is her usual litmus test for good partners. Andrew promises her, “It’s a good thing I’ve always been an excellent student” (161). He then tells her that it is time for the group to play sardines with the twins.

Mae and Andrew end up under the mistletoe, and he touches his lips to hers briefly. Mae is exhilarated, but Andrew is annoyed that the others comment on how perfunctory his kiss is. Mae assures him that she has no complaints, and before he can try again, they realize that the entire group is now watching them. Andrew decides that they should begin the game of sardines, and Zachary tries to enlist all the adults to play. The game is a reverse of hide and seek, where a single player hides and the others must try to find them.

After the children count off and run to look for Andrew, Mae heads for his bedroom, suspecting that he is hiding in the large closet. Mae drinks in the atmosphere, especially the eucalyptus scent that she associates with him. Mae enters the closet and asks Andrew if he misses his usual bedroom over the holiday. He tells her no—that his biggest concern is asserting his adulthood by avoiding the bunk beds in the basement. Mae admits that she would be afraid to sleep outside in the Boathouse, as she cannot even bring herself to watch horror movies, and Andrew reminds her that he loves the genre. Mae insists, “I’ll always take kissing over killing” (170), and Andrew lapses into silence. Mae is soon distracted by her attraction to him.

Andrew confides that he hopes for more purpose in life, including a lasting relationship. He feels stagnant compared to his parents and brother, who are pondering retirement and building their homes, respectively. He admits that her confession surprised him, but it also reminded him of his tarot reading, in which he was told that he had already met his future ideal partner but had not noticed. He wonders why he never suspected her feelings over the years. Soon, he kisses her, and the embrace turns passionate. Andrew says, “Whoever thought that Maelyn Jones would be totally fucking irresistible” (174). They are interrupted when Zachary finds them, and they promise each other that they will resume their romantic interlude later.