Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Content Warning: This chapter contains references to summary executions performed in a Nazi concentration camp.

Cialdini describes a Nazi guard who decimates prisoners, shooting every 10th individual. However, he skips one 10th prisoner and shoots the 11th instead. Cialdini promises an explanation in the chapter.

In “Unity,” Cialdini says humans naturally divide themselves into groups, belonging in some and not others. People are more inclined to say “yes” to those in a “we” group. He writes about “tribe-like categories that individuals use to define themselves and their groups, such as race, ethnicity, nationality, and family, as well as political and religious affiliations […] put simply, the ‘we’ is the shared me” (364). Characteristics of “we” groups are (1) those within a group favor others in the group, (2) group members mimic the actions of each other, and (3) the goal of members is to preserve the group.

Writing about “Business,” in “Sales,” he describes Ali Reda, an Arabic car salesman in Dearborn, Michigan, who works closely with the Arab Americans in the Detroit area. His inclusion in that group has made him the number-one car salesman in the US. In “Financial Transactions,” Cialdini describes the success of Bernie Madoff, the Ponzi schemer who swindled $15 billion from his clients. He points out that the majority of Madoff’s customers were drawn to him in part because, like him, they were successful Jewish individuals.

Turning to “Politics,” Cialdini describes different types of lies. White lies are meant to harm no one, black lies are meant to harm selected others, and blue lies are specifically intended to harm one group while enhancing another group. Members of certain political groups rely on blue lies to enhance their position while attacking others.

Regarding “Sports,” Cialdini reveals it is impossible to eliminate group preference from sports refereeing. He posits scientific proof that nationality influences the calls of referees in international soccer games. Race influences the calls of baseball umpires and basketball referees. For spectators, a team becomes part of one’s group and thus an extension of oneself. He writes, “The game is no light diversion to be enjoyed for its inherent form and artistry. The self is at stake. That is why hometown crowds are so adoring and, tellingly, so grateful to those responsible for hometown victories” (372).

Turning to “Personal Relationships” and specifically “Romantic Partnerships,” Cialdini describes the power of the pronouns “we” and “our” in romantic relationships to resolve disputes. This implies that the two are one, a collective partnership with no distinction. Decisions are made from loyalty. Each partner becomes more aware of their connection. Regarding “Close Friendships,” Cialdini notes these can also be “we” relationships. Even humans and “Pets” can form “we” relationships. One study revealed that yawning is contagious between dogs and humans, though only if the human and dog are bonded.

In “Unity I: Belonging Together,” Cialdini discusses “Kinship.” Genetic bonds are a particularly strong indicator of group cohesion. Many descriptions of collective groups use familial labels such as “brothers,” “sisterhood,” “forefathers,” “motherland,” and “heritage.” In family groups and those with similar bonds, there is an increased willingness to make sacrifices for the good of the collective. He reveals that, when evaluating outsiders, often people seek and bond with those who have genetic features resembling their own families.

Moving to a discussion of “Place,” which he calls “yet another usually reliable cue of heightened genetic commonality” (386), Cialdini first writes of “Home.” He describes home as an emotional construct and notes that children regard those brought into their homes regularly by their parents as part of their families. He gives an extended example of this, describing a Japanese consular official, raised to be inclusive, who evacuated hundreds of Jews from Eastern Europe to Japanese-held cities in World War II.

In “Locality,” Cialdini describes the sense of oneness among people who come from the same town or geographic area. This explains why the concentration camp guard spared one of the Jews, a man from his hometown. In moving outward to a discussion of “Region,” Cialdini argues that a large geographic area can promote a sense of belonging together. As an example, he discusses a Jewish enclave that escaped the Nazis by going to Japanese-held cities when the Japanese were allies of the Nazis. When officials asked why they should accept the Jewish refugees, the response was that the Jews, like the Japanese, were Asian, in contradiction to the Nazi assumption of European, Aryan superiority. This created a oneship between the Jews and the Japanese.

Cialdini moves back in time in his section “Unity II: Acting Together.” He discusses prehistorical evidence of societies that moved together, creating a sense of unity. Movements were done with “songs, marches, rituals, chants, prayers, and dances” (396). Moving together enhances the sense of being one unit. In “Liking,” he notes that, when people move together, they tend to like one another. Writing about “Support,” he notes that synchronized behavior can enhance cooperation and the willingness to assist others.

A powerful form of synchronized behavior that impacts groups is dealt with in “Music in the Struggle for Influence: It’s a Jingle Out There.” He argues that music creates an emotional connection. There is great potential for social influence through music. In “Systems Engineering,” Cialdini introduces the notion of two different ways of thinking: System 1, which is emotional thought—quick, intuitive decision-making—and System 2, which is logical thought—slower, rational, comprehensive oversight. Music, he notes, directly engages System 1 thinking, thus opening the doors for connection.

Cialdini deepens the discussion in “Repeated Reciprocal Exchange.” He discusses a study of a series of self-disclosing questions to enhance mutual understanding and build surprisingly intimate relationships. He follows this with “Suffering Together,” in which he describes the phenomenon of shared physical pain and challenges creating unity among fellow sufferers. In “Co-creation,” Cialdini describes how creating or building something with another individual or even with Mother Nature engenders a sense of unity—sometimes even with the object that has been created. This opens a door for oneness with Mother Nature as well as other individuals.

“Asking for Advice Is Good Advice” is the section in which he talks about how individuals form unity when they come together to seek information. He says, “Providing advice puts a person in a merging state of mind, which stimulates a linking of one’s own identity with another party’s” (415).

Having examined all the potential ways and routes through which people can achieve unity with one another, Cialdini asks in the section “Getting Together” if it is possible that the data about building oneness might draw the entire species together. In “Unifying Practices,” he expresses “What We Know About Household Influences.” Cialdini describes the value of parents bringing other individuals into the house, which helps children grasp extended oneness. In “Action Implications,” he describes the significance of treating all those who enter the home equally. In “What We Know About Diverse Neighborhoods and Friendships,” he describes the benefits of friendships and cross-group relationships.

In “Action Implications,” Cialdini lists a number of potential icebreakers and group-builders that allow oneness to develop. In “What We Know About the Types of Connections That Lead to Feelings of Unity,” Cialdini describes interactions that tear down the walls of separateness and allow people to recognize their common humanity. In “Action Implications,” he describes methods through which people recognize one another as part of a single evolutionary unit. He focuses on the fact that every human being faces common challenges, such as disease, and that people share commonalities of joy and community as well.

In the section on “Defense” against the misuse of the unity principle, Cialdini stresses the importance of having a code of conduct that guides corporate entities and other large groups, such as labor unions and clergy. Thus, groups that are part of a greater “we” do not take advantage of individual members of the group. He warns against becoming so much a part of an inclusive group that one loses the ability to be objective, which ultimately is harmful to the group itself.