Pageboy: A Memoir

Martha Philpotts is Elliot Page’s mother. In Page’s memories of his childhood, his mother is a single parent and a French teacher at several Halifax public schools. When Page was a child, Martha wanted him to conform to gender expectations and be more feminine. She worried that she would face judgment if her child was a lesbian. Coming from a Christian background, she also worried that being gay was a sin. When Page first tried to tell his mother that he was gay when he was 15, she told him, “that doesn’t exist!” (124). Throughout Page’s childhood, his mother tried to persuade him to dress and behave like a typical girl, which was an impediment on his journey of Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance.

Page expresses a great deal of sympathy for his mother while also noting her shortcomings. He reflects on the challenges she experienced, including her divorce from Page’s father and the loss of her own parents at a young age, and readily acknowledges how much effort she put into raising him, even when she was “desperate for a comfy seat, warm food, and a cold beer” (32) after a long day. Although Page’s relationship with his mother has not always been perfect, she has come to fully accept his identity as a trans man, and the two remain close.

Dennis Page is Elliot Page’s father. His wife, Linda, is Page’s stepmother. Among many Complex Interpersonal Relationships that have shaped Page’s life, none are more fraught and unresolved as his relationship with Dennis and Linda. Page describes the frequent shifts in his father’s behavior: In private, during Page’s childhood, he was generally loving and supportive, telling Page, “Linda is not the love of my life, you are the love of my life” (44). Around Linda, however, Page says that dynamic shifted: Dennis would switch to a “frigid demeanor” and do nothing to protect or stand up for his child. Page also describes Dennis as emotionally manipulative, particularly in the scene where he sobs and asks, “[D]o you not love me?” when 13-year-old Page says he would prefer to live exclusively with his mother (215).

Page’s description of Linda is even more cutting. He says he is “sure Linda didn’t want to be cruel, but [he believes] she held an impulse in her depths to habitually come for [him]” (43). Linda frequently bullied Page and encouraged the family to do the same. Even when Linda wrote Page a long apology when he was an adult, the letter was “less of an apology and more of an explanation, outlining all of the reasons that caused her hostility” (218) when Page was a young child. In one particularly chilling incident, Linda shrugged off a serious injury until Page proved that he was bleeding profusely.

While there have been many sources of pain in Page’s life, his relationship with Dennis and Linda is one of the most consistently challenging and damaging things he describes in Pageboy. Near the end of the book, Page explains that he has not been in contact with either of them in over five years. Reconciliation is not currently in the cards, as “Dennis and Linda support those with massive platforms who have attacked and ridiculed [Page] on a global scale” (219). Dennis “liked” a vitriolic tweet by Jordan Peterson about Page’s transition, signaling the deep rift in their relationship.

Page describes several important friends in his life, including his childhood friends Tim and Jack; Ian, whom he met at a permaculture course; Catherine Keens, a friend and mentor when he was a young actor; Julia, another mentor; and Mark Rendall. Mark is particularly important in Page’s life. As child actors, they met on the set of Ghost Cat and became close friends, meeting up many more times and traveling to Eastern Europe together.

Mark is a bastion of support throughout Pageboy. He takes care of Page in the days after his top surgery, for which Page expresses immense gratitude. The final chapter of the book recounts Page’s memory of a Peaches concert that he and Mark attended when they were 16 (Page) and 15 (Mark). The evening, including Mark’s ongoing friendship and love, marks a turning point in Page’s early life when, although he was not yet confident in his identity, he participated in LGBTQ culture with his friend.