The Beauty in Breaking

Harper opens this chapter by discussing her relationship with Colin, her most serious romantic connection after her divorce. While she highlights how intimate their relationship was, she also divulges Colin’s unhealthy emotional habits. Harper and Colin enjoyed a period of stability and happiness together, but ultimately, as Harper puts it, “He changed—the way desperate people sometimes change; the way hurt people can change” (170). In a relationship that had once been a flourishing romance, Colin began spiraling into an emotionally unhealthy abyss. Despite Harper’s strong feelings for him, she could not stay with him, as she knew how this kind of relationship could affect them both for years to come.

She then tells the story of Mr. Spano, a patient overcome with fear after getting an infection from injecting crack into his leg. Harper tried to calm him down, but he screamed and pled with desperation despite the reality that his diagnosis was not life-altering. Spano behaved belligerently, and an air of entitlement negatively affected his treatment. Harper tried to reason with him, to no avail, and he left the hospital without receiving proper treatment.

Harper next pivots to the story of Joshua Clements, an elderly man with cancer who decided not to receive radiation or chemical-based treatments and instead live with cancer on his own terms for as long as his body allowed. Harper was inspired by Joshua’s example of embracing joy and peace even as his body deteriorated. Despite the chance for a cure, Joshua made the choice not to live his life by going to countless doctor’s appointments; instead, he made peace with his decision to let the cancer run its course, whatever the outcome might be. Harper highlights the peace that emanated from him: “In Joshua’s embrace, I had sensed a life well lived” (202).