We Must Not Think of Ourselves: A Novel

Adam reads over what he has written for the archive, reflecting on its sentimentality. His students arrive: Roman and Charlotte, who are siblings; Filip Lescovec, one of Adam’s housemates; and 15-year-old Szifra Joseph. Szifra tells the class how she was stopped by a gendarme in the streets and warned away from the area: Being blond haired and blue eyed, she was mistaken for being “Aryan.” Szifra finally showed him her armband and told him she was Jewish. She claims to be mortified that she was mistaken for being “one of them” but is clearly flattered that the man thought she was attractive (14).

Roman suggests that Szifra should have asked him for bread, but Szifra haughtily declares that she will not beg for bread when she can buy it. She is also sure that they will all be out of here soon, once the British or Americans fight the Germans and the latter leave. The students start bickering among themselves, and Adam breaks up the tension and begins class. Without books or primers, the only texts he can use are the poems he has memorized over the years. He uses them to teach the children English pronunciation, and he sticks to solely happy poetry. This time, the class recites a poem by William Blake about joy.

After class, Adam and Filip walk home together. To their amazement, they notice that Merenstayn’s confectionary, a famous sweet shop, is open and walk in. Filip picks out gumballs, and Pan (Mr.) Merenstayn gifts Adam a peppermint. Pan Merenstayn tells them he has more chocolate coming in next week. As they leave, Adam resolves to stop by again. However, he never finds the store again, and the entire incident later feels like a dream.

Adam reflects on the German invasion of Poland in September 1939. No one believed that Poland would be invaded, as Britain and France were Poland’s allies. However, Britain had signed a non-aggression pact with Hitler, which left Poland vulnerable. After the invasion, many Jews left for America, Australia, or Palestine, but most stayed back, unable to imagine starting life over elsewhere. However, their lives in Poland have been severely constricted over time, beginning with restrictions on public life and eventually leading to the relocation into the ghetto.

Adam interviews 11-year-old Filip for his archive, up on the rooftop where Filip spends most of his time; Filip reveals that all the children in the ghetto have spaces like these, either up on rooftops or down in the sewers. Filip talks about how much he misses being in school. He was part of the school soccer team and was very good, but he was kicked off even before the invasion, after the political climate changed. Filip’s father saw how much he missed it and brought him a Swiss Army knife. Filip uses it to carve figurines and toys out of sticks, which makes him feel better.

Flashing back to some months after the invasion, Henryk visits Adam unannounced. He suggests that things are going to get very bad for the Jews and offers to get Adam some baptismal papers and a Polish kennkarte (identification booklet) so that he can leave. However, he demands some of Kasia’s wedding jewelry in return.

Adam had Kasia’s jewelry sewn into a blanket and has kept it as a safety net for himself. He wonders how bad the situation must be for wealthy Henryk, with all his power and connections, to be asking for it back. However, Henryk refuses to disclose any details and notes instead that he has always been good to Adam. Adam finally gives Henryk an emerald ring but lies and says that the pearl and diamond necklace Henryk asks for is still in the vault.

A few days later, the Nazis announce resettlement. Henryk returns, asking Adam to give up his apartment in exchange for a place in the ghetto. Adam doesn’t want to go, but Henryk points out that Adam has no choice. He avoids giving more details about who will move into Adam’s apartment, except for asserting that they are a nice couple he knows through work.

On the day of the resettlement, Adam smuggles whatever money and belongings he can into the ghetto. When he arrives at the apartment Henryk promised him, however, he discovers that Henryk promised it to two other families—the Lescovecs and the Wiskoffs—with similar assurances of papers, of a safe passage out, and that their old apartments will be cared for. Resigned, the adults divide up the space between themselves. Sala Wiskoff chats with Adam, and although he hasn’t been very close to another human being in years, Adam doesn’t mind the company.

Back in the present, Adam scribbles down Filip’s answers late at night, and Sala joins him to chat. They talk about how Sala and Emil once thought of migrating to Palestine but couldn’t imagine making a home elsewhere. Adam reveals that he has family there but didn’t leave for similar reasons. Henryk promised both Adam and the Wiskoffs papers, but Sala knows she would never pass for Polish with her looks. Adam, however, could, with his brown-blond hair and blue eyes.

Adam wonders if Sala and Emil have regrets about staying. Sala asserts that they stayed because of Emil’s mother, Reva. On the day they moved into the ghetto, Reva was struck on the head and killed by a guard because she didn’t take her wedding ring off fast enough. The guard callously took the ring off the dead body and hurried the family along, forcing them to leave Reva’s body behind. Sala asserts that they must all eventually get out of there, and Adam takes her hand, reassuring her that they will find a way.

Adam attends his first Oneg Shabbat meeting. He has heard of some of the other members: painters, historians, writers, and even a rabbi. Ringelblum gives the group a news report: The US has declared that it is not isolating from world affairs any longer and is sending arms to the British. Communities on the Ukrainian border have been “liquidated,” with the survivors being sent to the Warsaw ghetto.

Different members of the group offer their observations. One woman reports on how a café in the ghetto is serving roast goose and German wine. Adam wonders about the audacity of the people who dine there while children are starving in the street. Ringelblum introduces Adam to the group. When asked how he advertises his classes, Adam explains that Szifra also used to be his student before he moved to the ghetto. Another member reveals that he saw Szifra “cozying up” to a guard, and Ringelblum encourages Adam to find out more, as he wants a record of all dimensions of the story.

Szifra agrees to be interviewed. Her father, Avram Joseph, owned a clothing factory, and the family lived a wealthy life before the invasion. However, the factory was seized by the Nazis after they arrived, and her father shot himself in humiliation two days later. Szifra talks about how her father was always working. He took control of all the family affairs, leaving Szifra’s mother entirely dependent and useless on her own. Szifra thinks her father is cowardly for leaving the family on their own after just one setback, and she doesn’t want to become like her mother.

Szifra describes herself as practical; hence, she still pays attention to her appearance and keeps up English classes, as she plans on going to the US and becoming an actress once all this is over. What she misses the most about her old life is going to the movies. Even after Jews were banned from the theater, she snuck in once, knowing she could get away with it because of her looks.

Adam abruptly asks Szifra if she has had any “encounters” with the soldier who thought she was “Aryan.” Szifra gets angry and defensive, stating that she is doing whatever she can to help her family survive. Between her dead father and her hysterical mother, her younger brothers have taken to smuggling to manage the family’s finances, something they are too young for. Szifra also asserts that, despite the current situation, she doesn’t believe that every German is necessarily evil or that every Jewish person is necessarily good. Although Germans and Jews are on opposing sides at this point in history, she believes that one needs to still make individual choices about one’s life.