With the Fire on High

“You’re the Author of Your Own Life Story.” 

In “The Authors,” this is what the sign says above the advisory class door. On one level, it merely expresses a generic and clichéd sentiment about making decisions. It can also be read, however, in the context of the novel, as suggesting that individuals can or should take control and ownership over their own lives.

“Even still, during my pregnancy and after Emma was born, we played at being together.” 

In “Lovers & Friends,” Emoni says this about her relationship with Tyrone after she found out she was pregnant. Neither of them wanted to be with the other. However, they felt social pressure to act as if they did.

“You’d think that finally having a day free would mean I would go out with Angelica or enjoy not having to be responsible for a whole other human, but instead it felt like a rip in the fabric of my life.”

In “Returns,” Emoni is describing how she feels when Tyrone is looking after Emma and she is away from her. She does not at all enjoy the experience or relish having some independence to do what she likes. On the contrary, she feels an intense desire to be back with her child.

“I may question a lot of his actions, but his phone calls from San Juan and his attempts to instill a love of knowledge into me aren’t among them.” 

In “Fickle Fatherhood,” Emoni reflects on her relationship with her father. He certainly has made questionable decisions, leaving her to spend most of his time in Puerto Rico. At the same time, she is grateful to him for encouraging her to try and understand the world, especially when it comes to history.

“How’s your daughter?” 

In “Santi,” Leslie says this to Emoni in front of Malachi. The comment is supposed to undermine Emoni by drawing Malachi’s attention to the fact that Emoni is a teenage mother. However, it simply has the effect of making Leslie look petty minded and spiteful.

“He believes they (and the United States) are the sole reason why so many of these countries are struggling now.” 

In “Julio, Oh, Julio,” this is Emoni’s summation of Julio’s opinions about Spanish and American responsibility for the current state of many Caribbean nations. In one sense, Emoni accepts that colonialism is part of the reason for poverty in these places. However, her comments hint at her feeling that her father’s views are overly simplistic.

“I’m sure there has been an exchange of cuisine back and forth, especially with spices.” 

In “Julio, Oh, Julio,” Emoni is responding to her father’s suggestion that Spanish cuisine simply appropriated the techniques and ingredients of places like Puerto Rico. She argues instead that there was likely more of a process of exchange and intermingling with regards to food. Her comments also betray a frustration with her father’s negative attitudes towards Spain, a country she will soon be visiting.

“I’d rather save money for my daughter’s college tuition instead of my own.” 

In “School,” this is what Emoni thinks when Ms. Fuentes suggests that she should go to college. It reveals Emoni’s feeling that Ms. Fuentes does not properly understand her situation. That is, that Emoni is struggling financially and wants to put her daughter’s needs above her own.

“You gotta make your home better; you don’t just run because you can.” 

In “Hurricane Season,” Julio, Emoni’s father, says this in response to ’Buela asking if he will get a flight to the United States. This is because there is the threat of an imminent hurricane in Puerto Rico. He argues that there is a moral obligation to stay and help one’s community, rather than simply looking out for one’s individual self-interest.

“My girl is truly in love and I’m choked up at having been a part of making that night special for her.” 

In “Tastebuds,” Angelica has just told Emoni how the anniversary night with her girlfriend went. It was a wonderful evening, and Emoni’s food was a key part of the experience. This meal is another example of how Emoni’s cooking can inspire positive emotions in people.

“It’s also about doing the grunt work behind the scenes, washing dishes, folding napkins, taking stock, before you ever touch a recipe.” 

In “New Beginnings,” Emoni has just spoken to Chef Ayden and apologized for missing his classes. Her change of heart is inspired by the chef at Café Sorrel and the realization that to succeed she must pay her dues. This means doing a lot of unglamorous but necessary work behind the scenes of the actual cooking.

“I pay more attention to the little details than to the overall dish.” 

In “Guess Who’s Back?,” this scene is an example of Emoni paying her dues. She is working in a team alongside Richard and Amanda to create a dish. Critically, she accepts that she can focus on the details of her specific role and does not have to have overall creative control of the dish.

“She doesn’t like it when Tyrone and I are mad at each other.” 

In “Visitation,” Tyrone and Emoni have had an argument about Emoni seeing Malachi, and Tyrone is still angry when he picks up Emma. Emoni senses that the hostility between them is upsetting Emma. As such, she attempts to resolve the dispute in the interest of her child.

“I think about the way he cradled my hand and inspected my cut; how he makes me smile when I’m upset […] I know Malachi is going to be an amazing doctor one day.”

In “Chivalry,” Malachi has just bandaged Emoni’s hand after she cut it at her house after the Disney on Ice show. Emoni senses a growing attachment not just to what Malachi is in the present, but also to the man he will become.

“I certainly won’t be dropping work every time you and your grandmother are too negligent to take care of Emma.” 

In “It Pours,” Mrs. Palmer, Tyrone’s mother, had to pick up a sick Emma from daycare because she couldn’t get in contact with Emoni. When she drops Emma back at Emoni’s house, she makes it clear that she is not happy with this turn of events. Being called negligent makes Emoni deeply upset, especially given the fact that Tyrone does not take equal responsibility for the child.

“I’m trying to run a business here, Emoni. Not an extracurricular program for struggling moms.” 

In “New Year, New Recipes,” Steve, Emoni’s manager at the Burger Joint, says this when Emoni asks for time off for the Spain trip. He makes it clear that he has no real interest in her difficult circumstances. The meeting ends with Emoni’s hours being cut and ultimately leads her to quit work at the Burger Joint. 

“And this is the most excited and scared I’ve been since I birthed this little being.” 

In “Spain,” Emoni has this thought as she waits for the lift to take her to the airport. The trip to Spain is one of the most important events of her life, alongside giving birth. She extends the analogy to suggest that in Spain she will be giving birth to a new version of herself.

“Maybe it’s because we are not at home anymore, but I feel free: free to say what I want, to feel what I feel, without having to think of every single action and reaction.” 

In “Histories,” there is a general sense of liberation that Emoni gets from being in Spain. It is also specifically in connection with Malachi, whom she has been spending time with. This newfound sense of freedom inspires her to ask Malachi if he wants to meet with her after dinner.

“I can’t remember Tyrone ever touching me like this.” 

In “Smooch,” Emoni has just kissed Malachi for the first time, and they are now holding one another. This comment reflects her excitement with being with Malachi for the first time. It also reveals her sense that Malachi is more sensitive and attentive to her than Tyrone.

“You’re as big as a house, what’d you expect me to do?” 

In “Boys Will Be,” Tyrone said this in defense of his cheating on Emoni while she was pregnant. Emoni’s recounting of this episode exposes Tyrone’s selfishness and callousness towards her. His behavior also explains why Emoni has been reluctant to pursue relationships with other men.

“I don’t really have anyone at home supporting me or pushing me.” 

In “Heart-to-Heart,” Emoni and Leslie talk after the night out when she threw up on her shoes and Emoni helped her home. For the first time on the trip, Leslie opens up to her roommate. She reveals that her home life has been difficult and apologizes to Emoni for being jealous of her and Malachi.

“But this isn’t about other people. We’re not here with other people. We’re here. Right now. Me and you.” 

In “Ready?,” Malachi says this when he and Emoni are together at his host’s empty house on their penultimate evening in Spain. He is telling Emoni, in relation to the issue of sex, that they should not be influenced by what other young couples do. He is also suggesting that they live in the moment and not overthink what is happening between them.

“She sings about how everything changes.” 

In “Duende,” Emoni and Leslie are listening to a Mercedes Sosa song with their host, Mariana, on their last night in Spain. The song reflects the sense that things in her and her classmates’ lives are now going to change for good. They will be leaving high school behind and with it the world of childhood.