Words on Bathroom Walls

Paul comes into Adam’s room in the middle of the night. Adam’s mom is bleeding and needs to go to the hospital. Unable to get back to sleep, Adam texts Maya to tell her what’s happening and that he can’t sleep. There’s no response, so Adam searches for ways to keep himself occupied, until his bedroom window opens and Maya climbs through. She slips into his bed and kisses him, but Adam isn’t sure whether she’s real, so he sends her a text. When her phone goes off with the notification, the vibrating noise is “the most welcome sound I’ve ever heard in my life” (149). Several hours later, Maya leaves to get home before she’s missed. Paul and Adam’s mom come home soon after. The pregnancy is fine, but Adam feels guilty for being more concerned with sleep than the baby.

Adam goes to an ultrasound appointment with his mother and Paul. Adam finds the entire thing disturbingly bordering on the sexual: Paul massaging his mother’s shoulders, his mom being half-naked, and Adam’s nipples reacting to breastfeeding. The one good moment is hearing the baby’s heartbeat. Everyone in the room tears up, including Rebecca, who “was sobbing into her dress” (156).

Before he got involved in the ToZaPrex study, Adam was home from school full-time. One day, sick with a fever, he thought he saw a snake slither into the kitchen, so he grabbed scissors to kill it. But instead of stabbing a snake, he actually attacked himself: His mother found him with “the handles of the scissors jutting out of my thigh” (159). Adam tried a few drug treatments after that, none of which worked.

The therapist asks about Adam’s relationship with Maya—whether they are sexually active. Adam describes how he and Maya sneak off during Academic Team matches to make out. He adds that Rebecca doesn’t like it when Adam shares details about Maya. Adam doesn’t mind, though. The journal is “a place to work this stuff out” (162), and he appreciates that.